Today I’d like to share an interesting story with you.
Kondo Marie, as known as KonMari has been very popular.
You see her on TV shows often, and in these shows we see her happy clients, and happy Ending.
..but have you ever seen unhappy clients in those shows?
Last week I watched a Japanese documentary show about KonMari.
No, this show didn’t focus on KonMari method like how to fold clothes, but how she works with clients and how she thinks about her method itself.
In the show, one day, KonMari was visiting her client’s house to help organizing their home.
After a few visits, client’s husband asked KonMari to sit down to talk with him…because, he wasn’t happy with her methods.
He wanted to complain.
The scene was honest and memorable so I’d like to share with you in this post.
(with my drawings, I hope you like them!:)
KonMari’s Unhappy Client
This was how it began:
KonMari and wife was going through Komono.
(Komono means small or random miscellaneous stuff at home.)
The client owned a lot of towels…especially many, many face towels. Some towels were never opened, brand new.
(In Japan towels are popular gift / and often towels given as prizes…so you will see many unpacked towels if you go visit a local Japanese houses.)
So the wife and KonMari were going through their towels. Wife was choosing which towels to keep or not.
Husband was watching the whole thing ….
– and oneday, he wanted to talk to KonMari. (All the conversation was in Japanese language, but I am going to translate for you.)
” I don’t like that – that my wife throws away towels, only because they don’t ‘spark joy’.
I was taught when I grew up, that you should use things until you can’t use anymore. Like, until they are damaged or something. …and finally, you throw away.
My wife tossed some brand new towels. I feel like your method is about to waste many things.”
KonMari was listening to him, said quietly,
“…. it’s not that I am telling to throw away. It’s not my intention.
It’s about what kind of lifestyle you want to have. I’m here to help you to acquire your dream lifestyle.
Please imagine that first.
How about we take a break for now… after you see it, maybe we will try to make the your dream lifestyle come true?
You live in a such wonderful house with a wife, so please, discuss what is your dream lifestyle.”
Also check out KonMari’s Funny and Inspiring quotes from Japanese TV shows!
The Important Question to Ask to your partners
KonMari says it’s important to discuss with your partner (or family members), this question before you start decluttering :
What kind of lifestyle do you want to have?
How do you want to spend time at home?
KonMari says it’s important to imagine your dream lifestyle.
You may want to do yoga after waking up.
You may want to have flowers all the time in a living room.
You may want to use low-lighting at night in the evening.
The more details are better, because it will help you to see your goal – what kind of room you want to live in, how you want to spend time in the area.
Once you see your goal cleary, you know what you need to do, to achieve the goal. For example what you need to keep, how you want to organize, etc etc. By imagining your dream lifestyle, it will change your mentality.
So in this case, the husband and wife probably didn’t communicate very well about their dream lifestyle, before they started this decluttering / organizing project. Maybe husband would feel less frustration if he knows clearly his dream lifestyle.
(…though I understand his frustration too. If you feel guilty about tossing things, give them to donation! Use dolly.com – they have donation pick up service. )
Don’t push your husband
If you live with a husband, (or boyfriend) , don’t push them to start decluttering with you.
According to KonMari, usually husband starts organizing after 6 months ~ a year a wife had started organizing. It takes time for men to get started! (well, usually.)
Instead of forcing him, show your attitude. Show how you appreciate things – and especially the feeling of spark joy – will be a good way to start.
If you can prove it that life gets so much better if you only own belongings that spark joy, husband will finally get it.
Advice from KonMari
Here is a realistic advice from her on this episode.
If you have some in stocks, use them or give away, as soon as possible. Otherwise your home will be cluttered.
I hope this article was inspiring! If you haven’t read KonMari’s book, I strongly recommend. It will really change your life.